Coming to an End

My baby girl's birth month is coming to an end. Although I think about my daughter every day... I celebrated her life the entire month of February. It's sort of weird but February coming to an end feels like another loss. If feels like once again I have to wrap things up and move on with life without Malaysia.

For May's 2nd birthday I celebrated her life by having a small get together at my house with family. I decorated my house and fireplace with white candles, glass candle holders, flowers and the usual pink butterflies. Pink butterflies are kind of my baby girls theme. My cousin's daughter baked a delicious cake and we sang happy birthday to Malaysia. Later on that night we each wrote a message to May on a balloon and sent it off into the sky for her to enjoy. I was pleased with how my baby girl's celebration turned out.

Of course I would have rather been planning a Disney inspired birthday party for a two year old girl. I would have rather woke Malaysia up and explained to her that February 12th is her special day. I would have rather bought her a pretty little birthday dress. I would have rather invited my family and old friends with children to a kid friendly birthday party (I have been avoiding all people with small children not by choice but for survival).

My only option was to create a birthday celebration that would make Malaysia proud. I hope that this February 12th Malaysia May Drummer was with her grandma May smiling down on us and thinking...WOW...mommy did all this for me! I hope that my daughter knows that there is nothing that I wouldn't do to keep her memory alive.

Malaysia's May's Mommy