Saturday, September 12, 2015

Feeling Guilty

It has been two months since I have written a new post and three months since I have written my daughter Malaysia in my journal. I am feeling very guilty about this. I feel that the least that I can do is write two her once a month on the 12th which is her date of birth. I mean after all she does not to get showered with love from family and friends. Writing to her every month in my diary is my way of staying connected to her.


The reason that I have fell behind on my writing is because of the new job that I started this summer. It is a very fulfilling job because I get to help people. But it takes a lot out of me and does not leave much time for myself. Even when I am off the clock I am thinking about ways that I can help my clients. This has to change. Since turning Malaysia's room into my craft room...I have not done any crafts. I have not taking the usual time that I take to grieve for Malaysia. Although, I still think of her every second of every day and with every beat of my heart. I used to buy her flowers every month and do something special to remember her but I have been so focused on work. Thus, the guilty feeling. I am going to make an affirmation today that I will take time each day to nourish my heart and soul.

Talk to you soon,
Malaysia May's Mommy

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