Counseling

Since losing my daughter I have been trying to find different ways to cope with my tremendous loss. I thought that talking about it would help me get out all of the things that have been racing in my mind. I also thought that it would be the only way to keep her memory alive. I have been going to one on one counseling which has been really helpful. It has been a safe place for me to express ALL of my feelings. My feelings about God, surviving life without Malaysia, and confusion about having other children. I tried going to group counseling thinking that it would be nice to speak about my loss with people who can relate to what I am going through. Although, I have had no such luck in that department. I went to a group for bereaved parents who have lost a child at any age. However, I was the only parent in the group who had lost a baby. The other parents were very empathetic towards my loss, but the group facilitator who has never lost a child, could not seem to grasp the extent of my loss. So I found another group of bereaved parents. Once again there was no one in the group who had lost a baby. However, I did connect with a women who lost her 12 year old daughter to cancer. The group does not meet very often but I hope to stay in contact with this woman. Upon searching for a group specific to my needs, I came across an organization called HANDS (Helping After Neonatal Death). I was excited about the chance to connect with other parents who have experienced the loss of a baby. The other night I drove to the meeting which was 45 minutes away from my house but was left disappointed when the facilitator never showed up for the meeting. Now I am starting to think that the best thing for me to do is give up on the group support and stick to my individual counseling and the online support group for stillbirth on DailyStrength.org. The online support group has been great and I am thinking that maybe this is all that I need. Malaysia May's Mommy