Malaysia's Memorial

Her Ashes

Today marks 14 months since the tragic birth of my daughter Malaysia May. Two months ago on the one year anniversary of her birth we celebrated her life with family and friends at a beautiful golf course. 

In the months preceding her memorial I had this idea that having a memorial for May might give me some peace of mind. As a mother, whether your children are alive or passed on you possess this natural urge to DO for your children.
I am extremely limited in the ways that I can mother Malaysia. Yet I still have this need to be a good mother to her. By memorializing her life I felt like I was doing my job of being a good mother. 

Butterfly Release

I have this problem where if things are not perfect I feel let down. I was terribly worried that Malaysia's memorial would not come out the way I hoped it would and I would therefore let down myself and most importantly my daughter. 

Everything turned out perfect on the day of the memorial. It was more beautiful than I had imagined when I was planning her butterfly themed day. The decorations where elegant, delicate, absolutely beautiful...just like my baby girl! My husband and I read letters that we had written Malaysia, friends and family spoke and I played special songs that reminded me of my love for Malaysia. 

We ended her celebration with the release of 12 monarch butterflies. One for each month that we were missing Malaysia's presence.